


You Make Me Feel Like I'm Not Good Enough

by PiecesOfScully



Category: The X-Files
Genre: F/M, MSR, Missing Scene, Post Sein Und Zeit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-26
Updated: 2016-09-26
Packaged: 2018-08-17 11:21:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 636
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8141941
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PiecesOfScully/pseuds/PiecesOfScully
Summary: Missing scene for Season 7's Sein Und Zeit.





	

“You make me feel like I’m not good enough.”

His apartment was completely dark when she woke up, cocooned between the heavy couch blanket and the couch cushions. Alone. Sometime between the crying fit at his desk and his catatonic trance on the couch, she had abandoned him and fallen asleep. He must have covered her with the blanket, gently so not to wake her, before retreating to a foreign haven, as she’d inadvertently taken solace in his. 

She rubbed her hands against her face, listening intently for any signs of where he might have wandered off to. The bathroom light was off, the room emanating a muffled drip drip drip from the faucet that still had that leak. The kitchen was still, save for the hum of the refrigerator. The faint gurgle from his fish tank.

Just as she had convinced herself that he must have left, a gentle cough tore through the white noise of the apartment, like the first clap of thunder on a calm summer night. 

She gently eased herself into a sitting position, planting her feet to the floor, carefully avoiding that one spot that creaked with the most minimal amount of pressure. He may have been sleeping, and she desperately didn’t want to wake him. Nightmares and horrid memories from years past were sure to fill his dreams tonight, but he’d needed rest just the same. 

“So sorry, mom.”

She froze in her spot, her muscles taut and rigid. The whisper from his bedroom was so quiet, that if she hadn’t been listening so intensely she would have missed it. 

“…know it’s too late. So many…never said.”

In recent months, after his elderly neighbor gave her a knowing look in the hallway just hours after one of their more vocal nights of love making, she’d found herself complaining out of embarrassment about the thinness of the walls in his apartment. Tonight, however, she was ashamed to admit her relief that the bedroom door was cracked enough for her to catch most of his words of regret. 

“… you didn’t intend to stop loving me once she was gone.”

Her breath hitched in her chest. She knew enough about the demons he’d carried that she was able to fill in the blanks of what was inaudible.

“…inevitable. …I tried so hard…you proud.”

Tears pricked at the corners of her eyes, as his whispers were punctuated with the occasional sniffle.

“…couldn’t even look me in the eye.”

The guilt that sat heavy in her shoulders outweighed the shame she for listening. This was such a private, intimate moment, one that she shouldn’t be privy to. 

“…had no one …for so long, mom.”

His breaths had turned ragged and uneven, his whispers graduating to a broken voice full of hurt and sorrow. His sorrow rolled through the doorway like a wave, settling all around her, threatening to drown her. She put a hand to her mouth, attempting to physically hold back the sob that threatened to escape her lips.

“I’ve spent … life missing you.”

The refrigerator’s hum came to a stop as his voice resonated through the silent apartment, filling each void and dark corner with remorse and pain.

“…you make me feel like I’m not good enough.”

She shook her head, tears streaming down her face and settling into her lap. 

“Made,” he corrected.

The seven steps that separated them were walked swiftly, as she then quietly slipped into his bed. Her hands gripped him tightly, as his arms wrapped around her tiny frame. Murmurs of love poured from her lips, as her chest caught the sobs that came from his. 

“You’re not alone. You’re good enough,” she whispered into his hair, over and over, hoping the more she said it, the more he might believe it. “You’re good enough.”

xxxxx

**Author's Note:**

> This was written in response to a Tumblr anon prompt.


End file.
